Just because I never met Kabaale doesn't mean I don't mourn his loss. Nor does it mean that I do not care for him still. A friend recently said that a failed adoption for whatever reason is the most similar feeling to a miscarriage I will likely ever experience. I agree. I think some people might be wanting to find blame on me for being careless in choosing Kabaale, this particular agency or the country of Uganda. From everything I was told, I believed I was fully eligible for adopting him. It was only later that I learned the truth: that my agency hasn't completed any Ugandan adoptions, that my chances of adopting Kabaale were ZERO as I was a single man (even though everything online says I'm eligible) and that essentially all my savings... nearly 11,000 was going into the agency's pocket with only a shallow promise to return some to me "at some future point"... I honestly feel robbed of so many things. I feel like I have lost part of my heart not just for Kabaale but also for the fact that I seriously lack faith and trust in people in the adoption world now. There's one thing I DO have faith in: If not Kabaale, another little boy or girl will find their home in my house. That child will have a family. And I will be its family. However, it still doesn't cover up the miscarriage of my heart. |
2 Comments
Janet King
1/20/2015 03:00:36 pm
I'm sorry for your hurt and can sympathize with that pain. Kabaale will always be in your heart and I believe one day (probably in the next life) you will meet. That doesn't fix the hurt now and truly only time can. I hope that he will one day get to know the love you have for him. And your absolutely right that one day you will get to share that same kind of love with a son/daughter. You will be a fantastic dad and there are so many children out there waiting. Thank you for having the heart to open it to these children and thank you for sharing your raw emotions.
Reply
franz
1/21/2015 05:01:55 am
I'm so sorry Brad! I saw how hard you worked to accomplish your dream and i truly feel sorry for everything :(
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHoping to adopt an older child in Uganda who would otherwise not be adopted... Archives
July 2015
Categories |