“Is it crazy to consider a stranger a very much loved member
of your family?” This is the question which goes through my head on an almost
constant basis. It is not so crazy to think about though, because I feel there
is a little unwanted boy out there who is my son and needs to join my family.
My name is Bradley. I work three jobs. I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I bargain hunt to save money. And I’m soon to be opening up my life to a Ugandan orphan named Kabaale.
Ever since I was a child, I have always cared for things that are unwanted and unloved. Whether it is rescuing stray cats or adopting an odd-mixed breed dog at a shelter. My mom says I would get yelled at for insisting on stopping to pick the worms off of the sidewalk after a rainstorm. I knew they would die in the sun; so I would gather up handfuls and place them in my garden. I have always been this way.
Now, as an adult, I care about children, especially the unloved and unwanted around the world. I have donated to orphans in developing countries for years while not believing there was something I could do for any of them permanently. I would watch documentaries on the orphans wondering what I could do.
I am not married, but I have always wanted to be a father. My friends describe me as the perfect babysitter as I play tea-party with their daughters and wrestle with their boys. A few years ago, I wondered where I would go with my life. A friend said “You know, your life will never be complete until you’re a father” and so I began to realize that I could fulfill my dream of fatherhood.
At the time, I was $24,000 in debt with no hopes of seeing that end. My credit history was destroyed. I had no prospects for full-time employment. My parents struggled financially, and I wasn’t sure what to do. However, the faces of the orphans from the documentaries stuck in my mind. In the course of two years, I sacrificed and paid off my student loan and miscellaneous debts. My shirts were bought new and worn until there were holes in the elbows. Then I would add a long sleeved sweater or jacket on top to continue saving the money.
Literally years have gone by where I have saved and sacrificed to reach the point where I am.
Throughout this process, I have also helped my parents financially as they struggled. As a genealogist, I have given thousands of hours of my lifetime to helping people find their family tree at no cost.
In October 2013, my plans to adopt from Democratic Republic of Congo were dashed when the country disallowed single parent adoptions. Within a week, I had learned of a Ugandan program. Within another week, I found my non-profit adoption agency. I also found a little boy named Kabaale who is nearing 5, placing him in a lesser likelihood that he would be adopted. One statistic I have read is that male orphans his age from Africa have a 1% chance to be adopted. Just like finding the unwanted stray cats as a kid, my mind is turned to those who are unwanted.
Update: March 2015... After a year of working towards an adoption in Uganda, I have learned I am ineligible. My agency has kept my money despite knowing that I am ineligible. I have been devastated financially due to this for the last few months but will continue to pursue an adoption via Foster Care Adoptions in the United States. I am currently midway through the paperwork process.
Update: July 2015... The agency still has kept my money. They have closed their doors as a placement agency (HOORAY!) so hopefully this will prevent them from working in the future. I truly believe they are scam artists. It saddens me deeply. I planned to use that money to finish areas on my house to make parenthood a bigger reality, but I will continue to persevere! Do not let adoption hiccups stop you from finding your dreams.
Email: [email protected]
My name is Bradley. I work three jobs. I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I bargain hunt to save money. And I’m soon to be opening up my life to a Ugandan orphan named Kabaale.
Ever since I was a child, I have always cared for things that are unwanted and unloved. Whether it is rescuing stray cats or adopting an odd-mixed breed dog at a shelter. My mom says I would get yelled at for insisting on stopping to pick the worms off of the sidewalk after a rainstorm. I knew they would die in the sun; so I would gather up handfuls and place them in my garden. I have always been this way.
Now, as an adult, I care about children, especially the unloved and unwanted around the world. I have donated to orphans in developing countries for years while not believing there was something I could do for any of them permanently. I would watch documentaries on the orphans wondering what I could do.
I am not married, but I have always wanted to be a father. My friends describe me as the perfect babysitter as I play tea-party with their daughters and wrestle with their boys. A few years ago, I wondered where I would go with my life. A friend said “You know, your life will never be complete until you’re a father” and so I began to realize that I could fulfill my dream of fatherhood.
At the time, I was $24,000 in debt with no hopes of seeing that end. My credit history was destroyed. I had no prospects for full-time employment. My parents struggled financially, and I wasn’t sure what to do. However, the faces of the orphans from the documentaries stuck in my mind. In the course of two years, I sacrificed and paid off my student loan and miscellaneous debts. My shirts were bought new and worn until there were holes in the elbows. Then I would add a long sleeved sweater or jacket on top to continue saving the money.
Literally years have gone by where I have saved and sacrificed to reach the point where I am.
Throughout this process, I have also helped my parents financially as they struggled. As a genealogist, I have given thousands of hours of my lifetime to helping people find their family tree at no cost.
In October 2013, my plans to adopt from Democratic Republic of Congo were dashed when the country disallowed single parent adoptions. Within a week, I had learned of a Ugandan program. Within another week, I found my non-profit adoption agency. I also found a little boy named Kabaale who is nearing 5, placing him in a lesser likelihood that he would be adopted. One statistic I have read is that male orphans his age from Africa have a 1% chance to be adopted. Just like finding the unwanted stray cats as a kid, my mind is turned to those who are unwanted.
Update: March 2015... After a year of working towards an adoption in Uganda, I have learned I am ineligible. My agency has kept my money despite knowing that I am ineligible. I have been devastated financially due to this for the last few months but will continue to pursue an adoption via Foster Care Adoptions in the United States. I am currently midway through the paperwork process.
Update: July 2015... The agency still has kept my money. They have closed their doors as a placement agency (HOORAY!) so hopefully this will prevent them from working in the future. I truly believe they are scam artists. It saddens me deeply. I planned to use that money to finish areas on my house to make parenthood a bigger reality, but I will continue to persevere! Do not let adoption hiccups stop you from finding your dreams.
Email: [email protected]