Just because I never met Kabaale doesn't mean I don't mourn his loss. Nor does it mean that I do not care for him still. A friend recently said that a failed adoption for whatever reason is the most similar feeling to a miscarriage I will likely ever experience. I agree. I think some people might be wanting to find blame on me for being careless in choosing Kabaale, this particular agency or the country of Uganda. From everything I was told, I believed I was fully eligible for adopting him. It was only later that I learned the truth: that my agency hasn't completed any Ugandan adoptions, that my chances of adopting Kabaale were ZERO as I was a single man (even though everything online says I'm eligible) and that essentially all my savings... nearly 11,000 was going into the agency's pocket with only a shallow promise to return some to me "at some future point"... I honestly feel robbed of so many things. I feel like I have lost part of my heart not just for Kabaale but also for the fact that I seriously lack faith and trust in people in the adoption world now. There's one thing I DO have faith in: If not Kabaale, another little boy or girl will find their home in my house. That child will have a family. And I will be its family. However, it still doesn't cover up the miscarriage of my heart. |
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AuthorHoping to adopt an older child in Uganda who would otherwise not be adopted... Archives
July 2015
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