People ask me all the time about the abuse my foster son has gone through. I generally avoid giving specifics. I focus on other aspects of his life: Where he has made improvements. I don't want to focus on "why he's such a problem kid..." like many of my well-meaning friends and family refer to him.
Dr. Seuss was a brilliant author of some of the most classic books of all time. I know, because I've read a handful of them to my little 5 year old foster son at book-time right before bed. He'd never known these books before we read them. He'd never heard of Goldilocks, Hansel & Gretel, or The Cat in the Hat.
To me, as a lover of the printed word, not exposing children to these classics is already child abuse. All the other clutter is just additional mess that we have to deal with.
I refer to my foster son as Jack partially because he reminds me of Jack in the Beanstalk. He's a skinny boy with beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. People tell me all the time "He's the CUTEST boy ever! It must be so great having him in your life!" I always try to say "Yes, he's made huge improvements and continues to do so..." But it is not without the flaws.
Right now, poor Jack is experiencing trauma in his emotions and isn't able to handle them. This week, he's gotten into trouble at daycare and school for throwing things, causing disruptions, and having tantrums.
Why? Is it because he's a bad kid or a problem child?
Certainly not. He's a product of his environment. All of these "problems" are symptoms of situations where people didn't fight and advocate for him. His family caused many of these problems in him by neglect. By abuse. By not helping him. By being selfish. He didn't have anyone to stand up to the bullies and demons in his life.
That is where foster parents come into play. We're warriors. We're advocates. We are the greatest Loraxes the world has ever known for these kids.
For those who are not aware, the Lorax was a little orange creature who fought to protect the environment from corporate greed. He "spoke for the trees" because the trees had no voices for themselves. As his home in the forest was knocked down and pollution destroyed his world, he tried to advocate for things which had no voices---animals, plants, the sky... It was only later that the cause of the destruction (corporate greed!) realized what they had done was their any remorse.
We see this in foster care. Biological parents are often times in denial they had any part in the abuse. Many blame others. No one wants to say "Yes, it was me who did that..." The children don't have a strong enough voice. They don't know that what they went through wasn't normal. They probably thought every child slept in a dirty mattress, ate food from the garbage or had to sit in their own excrement because Mommy and Daddy were too high to notice their needs... Foster parents help rehabilitate those children and fight for them everyday---not just to fight to KEEP them but to fight to better their lives.
We are Loraxes---we speak for children who have no voices.
So today when I got a call from the school social worker, I explained what has been going on... The trauma he's been through and all the disruptions bother him tremendously. His biological family blames DCFS for ruining their lives but don't take credit for what they've done to ruin Jack's life.
I'm advocating for that little guy.
Everyday.
And I want to help him to see that he is a smart, special boy who shouldn't have ever had to deal with the garbage that was brought into his life. I'm his Lorax. So watch out, world... I'm documenting everything and fighting for him to get the help he needs to succeed.
A quote from the book: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
Dr. Seuss was a brilliant author of some of the most classic books of all time. I know, because I've read a handful of them to my little 5 year old foster son at book-time right before bed. He'd never known these books before we read them. He'd never heard of Goldilocks, Hansel & Gretel, or The Cat in the Hat.
To me, as a lover of the printed word, not exposing children to these classics is already child abuse. All the other clutter is just additional mess that we have to deal with.
I refer to my foster son as Jack partially because he reminds me of Jack in the Beanstalk. He's a skinny boy with beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. People tell me all the time "He's the CUTEST boy ever! It must be so great having him in your life!" I always try to say "Yes, he's made huge improvements and continues to do so..." But it is not without the flaws.
Right now, poor Jack is experiencing trauma in his emotions and isn't able to handle them. This week, he's gotten into trouble at daycare and school for throwing things, causing disruptions, and having tantrums.
Why? Is it because he's a bad kid or a problem child?
Certainly not. He's a product of his environment. All of these "problems" are symptoms of situations where people didn't fight and advocate for him. His family caused many of these problems in him by neglect. By abuse. By not helping him. By being selfish. He didn't have anyone to stand up to the bullies and demons in his life.
That is where foster parents come into play. We're warriors. We're advocates. We are the greatest Loraxes the world has ever known for these kids.
For those who are not aware, the Lorax was a little orange creature who fought to protect the environment from corporate greed. He "spoke for the trees" because the trees had no voices for themselves. As his home in the forest was knocked down and pollution destroyed his world, he tried to advocate for things which had no voices---animals, plants, the sky... It was only later that the cause of the destruction (corporate greed!) realized what they had done was their any remorse.
We see this in foster care. Biological parents are often times in denial they had any part in the abuse. Many blame others. No one wants to say "Yes, it was me who did that..." The children don't have a strong enough voice. They don't know that what they went through wasn't normal. They probably thought every child slept in a dirty mattress, ate food from the garbage or had to sit in their own excrement because Mommy and Daddy were too high to notice their needs... Foster parents help rehabilitate those children and fight for them everyday---not just to fight to KEEP them but to fight to better their lives.
We are Loraxes---we speak for children who have no voices.
So today when I got a call from the school social worker, I explained what has been going on... The trauma he's been through and all the disruptions bother him tremendously. His biological family blames DCFS for ruining their lives but don't take credit for what they've done to ruin Jack's life.
I'm advocating for that little guy.
Everyday.
And I want to help him to see that he is a smart, special boy who shouldn't have ever had to deal with the garbage that was brought into his life. I'm his Lorax. So watch out, world... I'm documenting everything and fighting for him to get the help he needs to succeed.
A quote from the book: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."