By now, everyone in Social Media has seen the issue with Lexi, the part Choctaw girl, who was taken from her foster family to be placed with extended family in Utah.
This story is driving me a little insane for a few reasons...
First off, its all about emotional grabbing a hold of audience members to get them to click and share. I hate social media "get shocked enough to share it" sort of news. It is always one-sided.
Second, this little girl has a sibling living with the family in Utah from what I have gathered... This family has been petitioning to adopt her since the parental rights were terminated. This family has been visiting with her, has a known family connection, and has already adopted her sibling. If it is true that they adopted her sibling, then it is even more appropriate that this child be placed with them.
Lexi went to live with this family at the end of 2011 after Lexi had some issues with previous placements. It is VERY common in some states for children to be bounced around between foster homes. I've heard California is notorious for it...
In the same year, the family in Utah stated they were interested in adopting her. This means that IF the states had worked out the interstate adoption placement quicker, all of this malarkey would be gone. Why? Because instead of this little girl living with the Pages for 4-5 years, she'd have been there for like 6 months or less.
Third, the foster family has no legal right. They can complain, they can petition, etc. But foster families have very few rights. In fact, they have none---just a few pieces of paper saying they can sign the kid up for school and sign them in at doctor's appointments basically. No legal right. So it sucks for them. But they appealed it in court. Their only justification was attachment.
Fourth, this is a nation-wide issue with the American Indian adoption laws. Its a federally mandated law because American Indian children were taken away regularly and adopted into white families---so all American Indian children are much more difficult to adopt into non-Native families. The courts in California are mandated to follow these federal laws.
Fifth, the foster family in California fought in courts against this law and against the child from going away. From what I've read, parental rights have been cut for a LONG time... this means that they've delayed her going to this new home for a LONG TIME. She could have been placed in 2011-2012 when she was still a toddler. The FOSTER FAMILY might have loved her but that doesn't mean they're the only family who might have cared about her. The APPEALS probably prevented her from going to live with her family in Utah.
Sixth, and I know this one SUCKS for people to hear... but fostering is about the CHILDREN. It is not about Mommy and Daddy getting children. It isn't about enlarging a family. Its about providing homes for children. Anything else is extra.
Seventh, the Pages COULD have probably lessened the trauma by keeping their acts together during the time when she was taken away. They could have also put on their big boy and big girl pants and prepared this little girl for the move. Yeah, it would have been hard for them. But foster parents should be selfless. THEY'RE the adults and can get over things faster and healthier than children. Preparing them for a transition should be a part of Foster parenting.
Sure, it sucks for them. I'm sure its hard. But they went about things in the wrong way. They don't seem to necessarily be respectful of foster parenting principles nor understanding these Native American adoption laws. It is OUT OF THEIR HANDS. They had no legal right to appeal. They have only everyday care they're in charge of. No legal rights. Then there's the whole "this child could have been placed YEARS ago" with her relatives (and possible sibling) had they not petitioned and fought and such...
I never ever assume that I'm the most qualified person to raise Jack. I'm sure plenty could raise him successfully. And love him. And provide for him. I HAPPEN to have been chosen for now to raise him. If I was told that he was to go live with a great aunt who loves him and will provide for him, I'd step down. I advocate for him daily. I help him daily. But I don't have the ability to decide where he stays long term. That isn't my right. It would stink, but I'd have to keep my big boy grownup pants on and move on...
I could go on and on. These are my thoughts. I know many won't agree. But that's okay. I see Fostering very differently from many. I'm sure some might think my thoughts are heartless. I'm sure some might think I'm a jerk for having my views on it.
I wish she could have been placed years ago with that relative of hers. Interstate laws need to be altered a bit. Courts need to be faster. She shouldn't have to deal with this sort of nonsense.
This story is driving me a little insane for a few reasons...
First off, its all about emotional grabbing a hold of audience members to get them to click and share. I hate social media "get shocked enough to share it" sort of news. It is always one-sided.
Second, this little girl has a sibling living with the family in Utah from what I have gathered... This family has been petitioning to adopt her since the parental rights were terminated. This family has been visiting with her, has a known family connection, and has already adopted her sibling. If it is true that they adopted her sibling, then it is even more appropriate that this child be placed with them.
Lexi went to live with this family at the end of 2011 after Lexi had some issues with previous placements. It is VERY common in some states for children to be bounced around between foster homes. I've heard California is notorious for it...
In the same year, the family in Utah stated they were interested in adopting her. This means that IF the states had worked out the interstate adoption placement quicker, all of this malarkey would be gone. Why? Because instead of this little girl living with the Pages for 4-5 years, she'd have been there for like 6 months or less.
Third, the foster family has no legal right. They can complain, they can petition, etc. But foster families have very few rights. In fact, they have none---just a few pieces of paper saying they can sign the kid up for school and sign them in at doctor's appointments basically. No legal right. So it sucks for them. But they appealed it in court. Their only justification was attachment.
Fourth, this is a nation-wide issue with the American Indian adoption laws. Its a federally mandated law because American Indian children were taken away regularly and adopted into white families---so all American Indian children are much more difficult to adopt into non-Native families. The courts in California are mandated to follow these federal laws.
Fifth, the foster family in California fought in courts against this law and against the child from going away. From what I've read, parental rights have been cut for a LONG time... this means that they've delayed her going to this new home for a LONG TIME. She could have been placed in 2011-2012 when she was still a toddler. The FOSTER FAMILY might have loved her but that doesn't mean they're the only family who might have cared about her. The APPEALS probably prevented her from going to live with her family in Utah.
Sixth, and I know this one SUCKS for people to hear... but fostering is about the CHILDREN. It is not about Mommy and Daddy getting children. It isn't about enlarging a family. Its about providing homes for children. Anything else is extra.
Seventh, the Pages COULD have probably lessened the trauma by keeping their acts together during the time when she was taken away. They could have also put on their big boy and big girl pants and prepared this little girl for the move. Yeah, it would have been hard for them. But foster parents should be selfless. THEY'RE the adults and can get over things faster and healthier than children. Preparing them for a transition should be a part of Foster parenting.
Sure, it sucks for them. I'm sure its hard. But they went about things in the wrong way. They don't seem to necessarily be respectful of foster parenting principles nor understanding these Native American adoption laws. It is OUT OF THEIR HANDS. They had no legal right to appeal. They have only everyday care they're in charge of. No legal rights. Then there's the whole "this child could have been placed YEARS ago" with her relatives (and possible sibling) had they not petitioned and fought and such...
I never ever assume that I'm the most qualified person to raise Jack. I'm sure plenty could raise him successfully. And love him. And provide for him. I HAPPEN to have been chosen for now to raise him. If I was told that he was to go live with a great aunt who loves him and will provide for him, I'd step down. I advocate for him daily. I help him daily. But I don't have the ability to decide where he stays long term. That isn't my right. It would stink, but I'd have to keep my big boy grownup pants on and move on...
I could go on and on. These are my thoughts. I know many won't agree. But that's okay. I see Fostering very differently from many. I'm sure some might think my thoughts are heartless. I'm sure some might think I'm a jerk for having my views on it.
I wish she could have been placed years ago with that relative of hers. Interstate laws need to be altered a bit. Courts need to be faster. She shouldn't have to deal with this sort of nonsense.