Today marks the 8th month anniversary of canceling the Ugandan adoption due to ineligibility.
I have since learned that the Agency's board has fired the woman who started the agency due to all the issues of fraud. Two weeks ago, I was promised a settlement, of sorts, which wouldn't have been ALL of my money but would have been a large chunk of it.
I naively began half-planning the changes I'd do to my home to make it more fit for children... fixing my roof, fixing some things in the yard, getting the furniture ready for the bedrooms... maybe even buying all the bedding, sheets, etc.
I seriously had this all written out and budgeted. I would rebuild! I wouldn't be conquered.
However, this news from yesterday throws a curve ball in: No one knows what is happening. More investigations. More checking into the fraud. More of the "who knows where your money is" routine.
So right now I am having to rebuild without help from those funds which rightfully belong to me and which have been promised, not once, but twice to me in the last eight months.
"There is evil in this world..." --Maleficent
The evil queen never was more accurate. There is evil in this world. It doesn't come from gay people wanting to marry. It doesn't come from a Confederate flag. It comes from how we treat others.
I feel very depressed about this. I'm trying to not sound desperate or ridiculous, even if I feel that way. I feel ridiculous to put faith in others. I feel ridiculous for believing that my dreams would come true in the ways I imagined them.
I'm not giving up, I'm not giving in. I will get my house fixed up even if it requires me working long nights and weekends to accomplish it. I have client work to keep me busy, luckily, but it is very sad state that I sit in my work cubicle writing this short blog.
I am not happy right but now I am trying to look forward to the future. If I can raise the funds to fix my house, get my bedrooms set up for the kids, etc. then I can continue moving on. Any refund I get would just go into fixing other things, I guess.
Think I should write to Ellen Degeneres? She's the queen of everything good and kind in this world. Maybe she'd feel badly for me and send some roofers out my way... I can dream, can't I?